Ever the dilligent blogger, here I am more than a year later. I am having "one of those days" so naturally, unironically, I reach out to the humble masses on the interweb--none of whom are reading this* -- to whine...or something.

Word on the street is...I'm very very bad at being unemployed, yet I dream about it while I'm working. Actually I'm not even unemployed, just on hiatus, which would be a completely different, allegedly blissful thing were it not for the chaos that rained down upon us the Friday before I left. All in all, I've been productive this week. Managed to accomplish more than a sliver of all the scads of projects I have in mind. Really. Monday I was a dynamo. Tuesday...well, can't really remember what I did Tuesday, but I think it involved shopping and chores. All good. Wednesday, saw the family. Have been to the gym twice. Today, I'm just low energy and not good at coping with it. The lunch with Mom was lovely but felt like cheating...I saw her yesterday. The nap that should have been delicious was sticky and did not revive me. The walk to Porto's for coffee and treat was remarkable mostly for the guilt-ridden line I gave the smiling Greenpeace guy at the door. No guilt about the cheese roll and coffee...how could something so exquisite be wrong? My Ikea project that followed was doomed from the start--tho yea I knew it not--two pieces were too small. And instead of scarfing a bit of dinner and bolting to Ikea to exchange the pieces, I decided I'd treat myself to an evening of relaxing on the couch.

Didn't work. Feeling hot and guilty. It's 10:34 and I should crack open the SketchUp (as promised, my own crazy video game), but somehow it almost feels like I don't have enough time. When the energy's up, it's up, but when I'm down I'm just sluggish and feel bad. No good reason, but feeling drifty and shiftless and sleepy and irritable, and not good at shaking it off. Oh, these chemicals. Thinking about a second beer, but will that really help?

Need to lower expectations of what one can accomplish in a day, a week, a month. Don't want to spend my whole life getting started. And--don't get me wrong--I have done a lot of good work project this year, but...need balance. Need tools to deal with the down days. But that requires discipline and research, which kinda means another project.

Tomorrow I'll be better, and I'll also be a day closer to returning to work.

* My apologies to the Brazilian tee shirt vendor who's commented. You don't really count.